What to Expect from a Typical Monday Night
The facilitators are asked to be here by 6:30 PM. We have several tables and chairs where people just come in, sit down, relax, and maybe check in with each other. We put out water, coffee, and our participants bring delicious food. The snack can be anything from a bag or chips or cookies, to homemade pasta, soup, chili, cakes, etc. It doesn’t matter what they bring. Participants bringing snacks are asked to come about 6:30 PM so that the snack is there when people arrive. If the snack is late people start eating late and the meeting gets off to a late start.
The time between 6:30 PM and 7:00 PM is used for people to just hang out and talk. We try to have someone who is the official greeter. Making sure everyone is greeted and made to feel welcome as they come through the door and that the new people are given a personal welcome, given a name tag and a brochure plus a verbal overview of the program. The greeter tries to introduce them to at least one person who is a facilitator in the support part of the program.
Relationship Recovery has four parts, each lasting 10 weeks. They are:
We try to start the support group on time at 7:00 PM. This seems to be the best time so people have a chance to get home, eat, and get to the church meeting location. Starting later makes it difficult for participants to make it home in the dark of night.
Relationship Recovery officially begins with a “big circle”. We start with the music - “Give Yourself to Love” by Kate Wolf - and everyone joins the big circle. This is often the hardest part for newcomers. Once they have been in the program for a while they usually welcome this.
When the song is over, one of the facilitators will lead the circle. We go over the rules then ask what is going on in the community. This is important because some people don’t even know how to begin to get back into social settings and local events. They tend to isolate. Often friendships are strained with divorce or widows feel the need to do something new, something that does not remind them of the deceased spouse. We are also a part of the community at large. We are not islands. We need people and feel strongly about getting people back into life. People talk about lectures, plays, new movies, county fairs, civic events, club hikes, and more.
We have had people over the years who started doing something together and are still doing it years later. We have people who go bowling, dancing, hiking, dinners, etc.
After talking about that’s going on in the community, we have a count-off. Sometimes people ask why we do this. It makes people feel a part of something. We watch our numbers rise and fall, yet it gives everyone a voice. Some people never say anything the entire night except for when they are called to give “their number”. That’s perfectly normal for shy and timid newcomers. Lastly, we ask for a prayer and finally divide into the four class groups.
Each group meets in a separate classroom until the end of the scheduled evening, 9:00 PM. Every class gives participants something to do each week. In Support its usually doing something to nurture yourself. Maybe do something that you have been procrastinating about. Transitions in largely the same. Boundaries has chapters to read and things to think about. Rebuilding has reading material and what we call “lifework”. Real things to think about and behavior and mindset issues to investigate and maybe change.
The program is a lot more than this overview but this covers the schedule of events every Monday night.